Confusing Hair-lema


I love having locs.   I really do but lately I’ve been missing having loose hair.  I have NO IDEA WHY.   The feeling has been getting stronger and stronger.   Yet, I don’t want to cut off my locs.    I told yall this was confusing with the title.

I wonder maybe the reason for missing my loose hair is due to the short time I had it.   I went from years perming my hair to locs with barely any time in-between with my loose natural hair.  Did I transition to locs too soon?   I literally rocked the afro just long enough time for the length to be twist-able for locs.  I put no work into learning how to work with my hair in its natural loose state or any cute styles I could wear.  I pretty much was the “wash and go” girl.  All my research was gear to maintaining locs.

Am I using my locs as a crutch for my self-esteem?  Hear me out yall… When I had the itty bitty fro, I felt that I looked like a little boy.  I didn’t feel pretty cause I couldn’t wear earrings (that’s another long story) and my tom-boyish style seem to negate the feminine twist I cultivated all these years.  Did I let my hang-ups ruin an opportunity to accept myself fully no matter my physical appearance?   Is my spirit telling me that I need to revisit this hidden part of myself that I never bother to understand?  Am I upgrading to JP Fairfield 2.0 and now gives no damns about the concept of “feminine” when it comes to my hair?  Does this mean it’s time for a change and my hesitation to cut off my locs is fear holding back?  Or is this normal and I’m totally over-thinking it?

For all you ladies who went from natural to loc or vice versa, let me ask your advice.  Is this a normal feeling?  Why did you decide to cut off your locs or go from loose natural to locs?


4 thoughts on “Confusing Hair-lema

  1. In 1994, two weeks before heading to college, I cut off all my hair. I hadn’t straightened it at that point in at least a year and a half. At that point, I had no vocabulary for “braid out” or “transitioning,” though that’s what I’d been doing.

    I spent the first couple of years of college rocking a #2 buzzed head (and freezing in upstate New York). My third year of college, I stopped cutting my hair and started twisting it, though I had no real intention of locking it–it was more a nervous habit than anything else. But I ended up with dreads for 16 years.

    Last May, I cut them off. I’d been thinking about it for a long time–I wanted to have a better sense of what my hair actually looked like and felt like when completely chemical-free and longer than an inch. After a year of both loving and being frustrated by my natural hair (very fine and prone to breakage), I’m dreading it again. I’ve realized that my hair likes locs, and so do I. They fit my personality and my lifestyle–which has never been and is not now one that leaves a lot of time for worrying about my hair.

    • Thank you for your story!

      This is the first time I ever even thought about cutting off my locs. So I feel kinda of weird about it and I know I can easily loc my hair again.. but it feels so final in my brain.

      I’m starting to think I should give natural un-loc hair a chance.

  2. It’s funny because I started out from the opposite direction. I got my BC directly after i decided to stop perming my hair. for 3 years afterward i kept an almost buzz cut. My hair never got longer than an inch tall. sometimes it was hard because i felt a bit boyish and awkward but i made myself try to have a hardened wall between what people said about me and my femininity and my confidence.

    I decided to grow out my hair for a new change and put in extension filled braids until my hair was long enough to do things with. from the moment i did so, people began to see me different. i had forgot what it was like to be considered a societally acknowledge girl. now I’m slightly addicted to it. i dont have to be strong or hold myself up, resisting societal pressure on how a girl like me should look. from statements like “when are you going to grow your hair out” from my family or ” you dont look like a girl or very pretty” from this little boy i was babysitting or blatant disinterest in who i was

    i mean, it may seem stupid to care about this but the amount of interest on my online dating profile has skyrocketed ever since i grew my hair out long enough to put in extension lengthened braids.

    so i get the confusion. i hate that i want attention that i also resent because it comes from such a shallow and stereotypical place

    • OMG…
      I hate the “when are you going to grow out your hair” or “are you gonna do something about your hair” comments. I especially hate the uninvited hair advice people want to give. It’s irritating enough from family but to get it from strangers make me want to scream. Let me cook! If I wanted your advice, I would have asked for it.

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