I love having locs. I really do but lately I’ve been missing having loose hair. I have NO IDEA WHY. The feeling has been getting stronger and stronger. Yet, I don’t want to cut off my locs. I told yall this was confusing with the title.
I wonder maybe the reason for missing my loose hair is due to the short time I had it. I went from years perming my hair to locs with barely any time in-between with my loose natural hair. Did I transition to locs too soon? I literally rocked the afro just long enough time for the length to be twist-able for locs. I put no work into learning how to work with my hair in its natural loose state or any cute styles I could wear. I pretty much was the “wash and go” girl. All my research was gear to maintaining locs.
Am I using my locs as a crutch for my self-esteem? Hear me out yall… When I had the itty bitty fro, I felt that I looked like a little boy. I didn’t feel pretty cause I couldn’t wear earrings (that’s another long story) and my tom-boyish style seem to negate the feminine twist I cultivated all these years. Did I let my hang-ups ruin an opportunity to accept myself fully no matter my physical appearance? Is my spirit telling me that I need to revisit this hidden part of myself that I never bother to understand? Am I upgrading to JP Fairfield 2.0 and now gives no damns about the concept of “feminine” when it comes to my hair? Does this mean it’s time for a change and my hesitation to cut off my locs is fear holding back? Or is this normal and I’m totally over-thinking it?
For all you ladies who went from natural to loc or vice versa, let me ask your advice. Is this a normal feeling? Why did you decide to cut off your locs or go from loose natural to locs?